by Vanessa Nichols
You always try to find whats holding him away from you [ ]
Tell the world that hes breaking your heart [ ]
Why are you surprised to see hes breakable?
She hears him first.
A weak moan, a mumbled sentence. Fragmented exposition; her heart tears.
always finds me, no matter what. Shes shes coming. Yes, yes shes coming I tell you, coming to find me
Always, she thinks absently, feet picking a careful, soundless path. Her arms ache, the weight of her weapon the weight of the world? now making itself known. Shes been ready walking, searching, running, believing for hours now. Feet sore, arms aching; resolve still firm. Sleep when you die, hurt when its over.
Is it ever over?
shes gonna be so mad at you, you know? She liked this shirt, said it brought out and now youve ruined it and boy is she gonna be
Thats it. Keep talking. The sewers have never seemed more endless, more frustrating. All day or has it been all night? shes searched and searched. Only now, only finally, has she made real progress. The blood on a wall, the cracked pillar, the rent piece of fabric. Clues A, B and C. Catalogued, itemised, processed and filed as shed followed their path. Insubstantial promises that she was narrowing in, circling down, and now that shes heard him
and its never good when shes mad. Never good. Got a temper, you know? I dont like it when shes mad
its substantial. Its real. Hes here. Shes here. Soon theyll be together. Unbroken. A few more steps forward, a turn to the right. Down and down and down follow the rats, follow the blood, follow the sound of his voice. His voice. A beautiful sound.
you cant break me. No one but her can. Shes the only one with that power. Big, strong, powerful power she has. Shes strong, shell find me
She will. She always does. She made a promise, once once upon a time to be with him for as long always and forever as it would take for him to exit the tunnel. Its why shes here now. Partly. Tunnel, sewer theres a difference?
always finds me. Doesnt matter where I am, or whos got me, she still finds me. Like when Spike
She remembers Spike. Remembers the bullet holes in the ceiling, the pokers through flesh, the chains and cuts and scratches and blood. But she found him. Saved him. Always.
and after Darla
She remembers Darla. Remembers the dreams and the holy water and the dying, the anguished expressions, the resolve for vengeance, the aftermath and the rain and the baby and how he got so lost with Darla. She found him, though. Saved him. Always.
and every other time cant remember them all but I remember that she saved me. Always saving me. Finding me
Always, she echoes in her thoughts. Always. Hell never break, shes vowed to herself, not while shes around. Not when shes here. Shell always find him, save him, keep him whole. Its a desperately frightening burden but one shes grateful to shoulder because without HIM, shes fragmented; splintered and shattered. Only together are they unbroken.
dont know why
She does. Never says it not really but she does know. Knows it in her heart, in her mind, in her soul. Its the whisper that flows through her veins, the echo that pounds in her chest, the language spoken by the whorls in her fingertips. Ingrained, innate, inveterate. Simple truth. She knows that she loves him. Knows that shell do anything for him. Everything with him. Save him, find him, love him always.
love her. Not because she saves me, or because she finds me. Not even because shes gonna be so mad at you. But because shes
Almost there. Anticipation and expectation. She grips her sword a little more tightly; ignores the metal splinters. Breathing quiet, heartbeat racing, feet tiptoeing as she eases around the corner.
and shell save me
Hes the first thing she sees, the first thing she ignores. Concentration steeled, form ready, she attacks from their blind side. Quips run rampant, spilling from her lips unconsciously as she forces them back, forces them down. One-sided banter as she seeks retribution do they KNOW how much itll cost to get this sewer-stained jacket dry-cleaned? for causing all this pain.
she always finds me
The pride in his voice is even more pleasing than the dust on her sword, the gore splatters near her shoes. No fancy tricks this time, no mystical levitation, just her and her sword and shes done it. Shes saved him.
And now she can focus on him. Her chest heaving from exhaustion, body sore and screaming, and her mind blanking out the cuts on his chest and the dried flakes of blood in his hair. Brain censoring the chains around his wrists as soon as shes found the key and released him from their grip.
She grins at the simple greeting, responding in kind, helping him to stand. His arms wrap around her waist, head burying into space between her shoulder and neck.
I knew youd find me, he whispers, lips tracing carbon copies of the words across her collarbone.
Her hands smooth across his back, careful of the gashes, and she hugs him tightly. Always, Angel, she promises. Ill always find you.
I know you will
She nods slightly emotions that were previously rent from fear becoming whole once more still smiling. Shes saved him. Again. Cordelia Chase Angels finder.